Dating, Tinder

Tinder Trauma – Once Burnt…

Jacob had been single for a few months when he decided to join Tinder, like most guys in their early 20’s he had a busy work and social life, so his methods for meeting girls was pretty limited. Having been on a few dates already when he came across Gemma he had no qualms about speaking to her or meeting her a few days after they matched.

A sales assistant in the local shopping center, she seemed like a quiet, down to earth, slightly shy girl, in spite of the “slightly provocative photos” used on her Tinder profile. The first few weeks flew by in a honeymoon tinted blur as they drifted into what seemed like a fairly happy relationship.

On a night out her phone was stolen and naturally she was very distressed as there was a lot of personal information on it so Jacob offered her an old phone to use temporarily. Now, there are some guys out there who often go one step further when trying to help a damsel in distress and Jacob is no exception. A week later he offered to help her pay for half of a new phone, under the stipulation that she would pay him back later or over time.

Ladies, imagine this, you’ve gone on an app with a slightly seedy reputation yet you’ve met a guy who barely knows you but is willing to pay £500 towards a new phone for you, surely you would appreciate his kindness and want to express your gratitude in any way possible. So if I told you that Gemma was posting half naked pictures of herself on Facebook and Instagram which Jacob was uncomfortable with you would assume that she heard him out right? Instead of trying to understand why the guy she was seeing didn’t like her pictures she got agitated with him and refused to change for anyone. Guys, how would you feel if every time you were on Facebook you saw one of the locals asking your girlfriend to sleep with him and send personal pictures? Or what if she was really cagey about her phone when you were with her and she was incredibly close to a guy who would often visit her in the evening, you’d get suspicious wouldn’t you?

One night she told Jacob that her friend wanted her to help out with the promo for a club in London, he didn’t think anything of it, especially as she was continuing to message him hourly. At around four a.m. she called him to say that her drink had been spiked and she was coming home, he told her that he would meet her at her house so he could look after her. When Jacob arrived “it was clear that something was up, she was acting very weirdly and was clearly intoxicated” at one point, whilst looking for a hairclip, she emptied the contents of her bag and out fell lingerie and condoms. Obviously shocked, Jacob asked what happened, she fobbed him off with a lame story about how some guys followed her and her friend back to a hotel room and they must have spiked her drink before falling asleep. At this point Jacob had  had enough of the half truths so he did what anyone would do in this situation, he went through her phone. I could go off on a tangent about the ethics of going through someone’s phone but that is a whole different blog topic, however, I will say this, if your partner feels the need to check on who you are talking to you need to ask yourself why. As expected, Jacob found that she had actually been messaging a guy about coming to his hotel room and partying with him and his friends in exchange for money. There were also numerous videos and pictures of her having sex with other men and messages exchanging these videos, all of which took place whilst Jacob was seeing her. When he tried to confront her she became incredibly aggressive so he left, since then he has received threatening text messages from her and her male friends, accusing him of stealing her wedding ring, which is probably a ploy to avoid paying him the £500 she owes him for her phone.

Jacob didn’t share his story to prove that Tinder is a bad dating choice, this situation could have happened if they met in a club or on the street, rather, the moral to this story is listen to your gut and pay attention to the warning signs. A girl can be hot without using racy pictures to get your attention, when you are uncomfortable about the kind of attention she is attracting she will do something about it if she is a genuine person and anyone who lets you give them £500 after a few weeks of knowing them is shady in my eyes.

You live and you learn, at least I’m still trying to…

S x

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Blogging, Dating, Tinder

Tinder Traumas – Your Stories

Foot Fetish

“Let me tell you about the guy who had the foot fetish. This weirdo wanted to meet me to rub my feet and massage them. He then proceeded to tell me that he wants to lick them dirty or clean. I told him I had a lot of toe jam, he didn’t seem to mind and wanted to touch them anyways. I told him I would run my feet all over him, thinking he was kidding, but he sure wasn’t. He really wanted to love them. Then he tells me that he wants F them… what the heck! It reached the point I told him he was sick and had to go.” – With love from Canada x

Sharing is Caring 

Living in a shared house can be taxing at times, especially when you don’t get on with your housemates. Once you have all bonded life is a little easier, you take it in turns to buy toilet paper, you share your cutlery and ice cream, I used to spend evenings watching Sex & The City with my housemate, well, she watched whilst I painted my nails. 

Over in Thailand, Meg* met a guy through Tinder, they hooked up but it didn’t really go anywhere, imagine her surprise when a few weeks later she bumped into the same guy who her housemate had hooked up with (also via Tinder) on her way to the bathroom! As if that wasn’t awkward enough Casanova did the only thing any red blooded male would do in that situation, he suggested a threesome. I think it’s safe to say he didn’t visit that house again! (Surely he would have got a sense of deja vu when he walked in…)

Doctor of Love

Back on our side of the pond, Phoebe had matched with a guy and even though he had messaged her she hadn’t got back to him yet. At the doctor surgery, she was told that her usual GP was unavailable and she would have to see Dr Smith, you guessed it, Dr  Smith was her recent match that she had ignored. Neither one mentioned that they recognized each other, probably something to do with doctor patient confidentiality…

Looks can be deceiving

During my short stint on Tinder I found that even though a guy would have about 5 photos he only looked like the same person in 2, I put it down to lighting but still swiped left. One evening I got the following text message: “While flicking through it with Lee one day he showed me this amazingly beautiful girl with killer cheekbones and glamour girl boobs, I was like wow she is amazing, then he pointed to her name! It was only… from… Now I’m not saying she’s not pretty but it would be like expecting to meet up with Angelina Jolie and getting Abi Branning. So forever more that shot down our faith that anyone looks like they actually say on Tinder!!”. 

We are forever learning that it is a very small world so you don’t know when or where you may bump into a fellow swiper, for about 2 weeks I was genuinely paranoid that any man that looked at my face for that split second longer had seen me on Tinder. My GP is female, I have no housemates, I hate when ANYONE touches or even looks at my feet and I no longer use the app so no one can accuse me of not looking like me on purpose (unless you’re on my Instagram, then I can’t make any promises). I’m safe from the Tinder drama’s but I’ll share yours, if you’ll let me, keep an eye out for a success story.

S x

*All names have been changed or not shared to protect the participants anonymity 

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Blogging, Cheating, Dating, Social Media, Tinder

Tinder Diary – Day 4 through 21

Screenshot_2015-06-08-21-52-17I’d like to say that my silence over the last few weeks is due to the overwhelming amount of dates I’ve been on thanks to my new friend Tinder, however, that’s not quite the case, but there I was asked on a date…

After about 3 weeks I had experienced little to no banter and the odd weird comment like “legggsss!”, there was no spark and nothing to look forward to at the end of the day, until Ben. Ben was one of my very early matches but he hadn’t been online for over a week when we matched. Anyway, Ben had one picture and his statement was “Tall. Blond. Beard” all ticks for me, when he finally reached out he was funny, witty, so interesting and someone I thought I could easily get on with and maybe even like. He usually took a day or two to respond but they were always long messages filled with questions and funny anecdotes, he seemed busy so I didn’t mind, when we were finally talking back and forth he randomly asked to meet up the next day!

Tired of having to log in to Tinder every time I wanted to respond I gave him my number and asked if we could arrange something via What’s App. I didn’t hear back from him until the next morning, he sent a text explaining that he had been trying to download What’s App all morning with no luck, the number he was contacting me on was his work number and I could add him on Snapchat to prove he is in fact real. Not thinking anything of it I responded but I wasn’t feeling very well and asked to postpone, he was very sweet and agreed as long as I wasn’t giving him the shoulder… Anyway, the day finished and I headed home, he told me to get plenty of water and bed rest to which I didn’t respond, I then received another message informing me that his work phone was now off for the rest of the weekend and if I wanted to chat I could reach him on Tinder. 

As soon as I read this last text I deleted Tinder. Why? It is the 21st Century, my father, 65 year old aunt and 11 year old sister all have What’s App! Why are you giving me your work number, even after you yourself told me you could get in trouble for using it?! I asked for your Instagram or FB to prove you were real and you’re gonna offer me Snapchat???! As. If! There is only one thing that I could deduce from all of the above. He’s married or he has a girlfriend, or worse. Both. Seriously, think about it, you can’t download What’s App on your personal phone so why not just text me from it? How can you have Tinder and not What’s App?? And Snapchat? That’s just a way for you to manipulate what I can see of your life, not the numerous Insta pics of you on date nights or FB profile with everyone praising your long standing and happy relationship. 

I could be very wrong, maybe Ben is a 28 year old that is a little behind the times (not enough to not know what Tinder and Snapchat are) and maybe he is very single, maybe he just wanted to keep his private life just that, private. I guess we will never know.

When I started this Tinder Diary it was to try something out of my comfort zone, be a little spontaneous and see what all the fuss was about, I haven’t had the worst experience but I know myself well enough to know that it is just not for me. There is something off putting about the anonymity of using Social Media when dating, sure you can tailor every post and edit every picture before you put it out there for the world to see, but will you look like the Sierra edit on Instagram when you actually meet?  I much prefer the face to face conversations, give me the moments where you say the first thing that comes to your mouth over screenshotting the conversation and asking your friends how to respond any day.

I promised myself that once I had a date from Tinder I would delete it and forget about it, I was asked out, it fell through and I no longer use the app. That doesn’t mean that I don’t have plenty of your stories to share though…

S x

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Blogging, Dating, Social Media, Tinder

Tinder Diary – Day 3

I’ve got my first Tinder message! It’s from Marc… “Hey how are you?” polite and friendly so far. “I have to say I think you are gorgeous” eeek! He thinks I’m gorgeous! “I’m gonna be upfront and honest” this is intriguing… “I’m only in town for a few days day, fancy some fun whilst I’m here?” Ugghhh! AS. IF!!! I spiral through a wave of emotions, excitement, shock, disappointment and devastation. He’s a catfish, he has to be. How can someone so gorgeous be 3 miles away from me and I’ve never seen or even heard of him? Obviously I didn’t respond, but I took a screen shot of the message, as well as his topless photo’s and sent them to my friends. 

I’ve been Tindering for about 3 and half days now and I’m bored already, this is not a good sign. Although Marc provided a burst of excitement I feel like he has set a rather sordid precedent. I’ve got a few more matches, but I say no about 93% of the time so I’m being really picky, but I don’t know if that’s a good thing.

Whilst shuffling through the unlimited potential suitors I keep seeing lists of people that we have in common, at first I don’t pay any attention to it but then I see an old friends brother and his best friend, now, I know that they are both in very happy relationships, or so I thought. What are they doing on here?? It’s not my place to tell anyone but I’m really confused, until I see someone that I KNOW would never be on Tinder, then it clicks, these are just mutual friends! Not people who are using the app! Phew! That could have been awkward.

Swiping again and I see a familiar face, most of the people I have come across that I recognize are from school so I know how I know them, but I don’t remember this guy, so I send a screenshot to Zak and ask if she knows who he is. She responds almost immediately, “chick, that’s Zoe’s* husband”… I literally just saw pictures of them with their newborn baby all over Facebook, and she is constantly posting about how happy her little family is, I guess nothing is ever what it seems. I do remember Sehrish telling me that Zoe had met her husband when he was with someone else, and he left his ex for her, I couldn’t tell if this was a case of “once a cheater always a cheater” or someone trying to play a mean game by stealing his pictures and creating a Tinder profile, either way it’s pretty messed up.

I’m beginning to see a pattern… There is a plethora of pictures of men posing either;

  1. In the gym with their tops off
  2. With their arm draped around a large wild cat 
  3. Skiing/hiking

If I come across any of the above I’m saying no because a heavily sedated wild animal is just not hot in any way shape or form, unless you’re a vet about to save it’s life. Topless gym pics are a warning sign for slightly excessive narcissism and I can’t be dealing with someone who is prettier than me, every time you look at me I’ll just feel like you’re trying to see your reflection in my glasses. And skiing and/or hiking is a no because I am so incredibly accident prone I’ll be a massive hindrance and you’ll probably have to carry me half way, so technically I’m thinking of you. To each her own, I may not like the above pictures but a lot of girls do, so pose away guys, pose away.

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And finally, fake profiles. You can imagine my surprise when I came across Xabi Alonso, player for FC Bayern Munich, only his name was James, aged 30 and he was about 6 miles away. Had I not been subjected to countless football games in my previous relationship I would have no idea who this was, probably say yes and be overjoyed if we matched. (Xabi is in my top 3 football player crushes, after Beckham and Pique of course). If someone has no mutual friends, no Instagram account and their pictures look a little too perfect chances are they’re not real.

So far I’m not loving it guys, it feels very shallow, judging someone by their pictures and hoping that they like mine… I need actual interaction but it’s early days so I’m not giving up just yet, maybe I should speak to some other Tinder users, see if they have had any success.

The next post will be about what you guys think about Tinder, give me a shout and let me know how you feel on @88Shaunna Twitter

S x

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Blogging, Dating, Relationships, Tinder

Tinder Diary – Day 2

I’m finally allowed to swipe unsupervised as long as I promise to wait a second before saying no, but somehow my Tinder antics have caught the attention of my 16 year old sister…

This genuinely feels like a game… Left, left,left left… Wait! tap… Hmm… Left. Left… Tap… Aww his bio made me chuckle, and he’s tall, and he has good hair, nice eyes, good fashion sense. Right! Left, left and so on. The whole time I’m playing my sister is either berating me for going too fast or yelling “wait! what about him??”, after a while I take a break and watch this weeks Made In Chelsea.

Its pretty late and it seems like Shamica is asleep, she hasn’t said anything for about an hour and she didn’t watch MIC with me so I start swiping again. The first few are straight no’s, but then… Oh. My. Gosh! Just as I am about to take a screen shot of the absolute hottie on my screen Shamica shouts “YES!! say yes!!”, she nearly gives me a heart attack, which could easily have resulted in an accidental no! I get over the shock, send the screen shot to my group chat and swipe right. Instantly my first match message pops up!! I am stunned, mouth agape I show the screen to Shamica who begins to squeal like a micro pig, tiny, sharp, high pitched squeaks. Once I have accepted that Marc was interested I do what any dignified 27 year old would do, I jump up and down on the bed, stop to send a screen shot of the match message and go right back to jumping.

Now what?? Shamica’s telling me to ask him if I can have his beautiful babies, Zakia is saying don’t say anything, let him open the convo and Kimberly is saying talk to him, now! Who do I listen to?? What do I do?? I’m definitely striking Shamica’s one liner out, I did not realise that is how 16 year olds flirt these days…

Another eventful day on Tinder, no closer to Prince Charming but it doesn’t hurt to have a bit of eye candy.

Keep an eye out to find out what happened with my first match…

S x

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Blogging, Dating, Relationships, Tinder

Tinder Diary- Day 1

After we had established that it would be highly inappropriate for my married best friend to download the app we snuggled up together and created my profile, which wasn’t that successful as we were swiping for about half an hour with no pictures and no bio. As neither of us really knew what we were doing we agreed to the following:

  • No swiping by my myself – It was OUR game and I could not be trusted as I swipe too fast and miss really hot people that will never come up again.
  • I am not allowed to meet anyone UNLESS we have been talking for a “good amount of time” – and the banter was on point 95% of the time – AND I am 100% sure he is who he says he is.
  • NO SWIPING ALONE – she was so adamant about it she felt the need to tell me twice.

So there we were, swiping and laughing, when suddenly my phone flashes, I had 5% battery and no one in the house had a Samsung charger. We devised an action plan, I would go home, get my charger, chuck on my PJ’s and get straight back into her bed. It sounded great in theory but in reality, the excitement of our Tinder antics had wiped me out and my phone was refusing to charge so I promised not to touch the app without her supervision and I turned my phone off.

Et voila! 10:30 a.m. approximately 12 hours after I downloaded the app, I wake up to a message from my ex, a screenshot, to be precise, of my Tinder profile. Shit! Shit! Shit! Caught in the act.

Maybe “caught” is the wrong word, I am, after all, single and free to do whatever I please. Regardless, I had fully intended to contact my ex to let him know that I was on Tinder because I didn’t want him to find out from someone else. Clearly I wasn’t quick enough!

How does it work?

  1. Much like any social media you need a profile: Name, Date of Birth and a Bio, then you add a bunch of pictures, you can also link your Instagram account.
  2. Make sure your location services are on.
  3. Set your age preference and distance.
  4. Tap on a picture to see his bio and other photos, tap again to come out of his profile.
  5. Swipe left if you’re not interested OR swipe right if you like what you see. If you want to go back and see someone you said no to YOU CAN’T, if you try do that you will end up swiping right to the next person. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.
  6. If someone you liked swipes right for you too you will automatically get a notification that you have a match and then you can message one another.

I’d like to point out I had to learn all of the above the hard way… You’re welcome.

Day 2 is all about my first match!

S x

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Dating, Relationships, Tinder

A Tinderella Story

Screenshot_2015-06-08-21-52-17

Sat in my best friends bed, rehashing the last conversation I had with my ex I look into the bottom of my cup and sigh 

“Something has to change” she looks at me cautiously with a hint of surprise in her eyes.

“Chick… What do you mean?”.

I go on to explain that having seen my ex for the first time in a while I am wary of our pattern, we break up, take some time and inevitably end up back together. We agreed to breaking up because we both needed to be single and selfish, sometimes its hard to do that when you’re in a long term relationship, especially when you need to step back.

Now, when I said “something needed to change” I was referring to our on again/off again pattern, her response?

“Let’s download tinder!!”

I love this girl like a sister but she is bat s#!t crazy sometimes, the last time we were bored and sat in her house alone together we watched Kim Karadashian’s infamous porn video, just your standard Friday night.

I have heard many stories about Tinder, some good, some bad and some pretty ugly so I won’t lie, I have my preconceived notions but the only way I am going to get over them is by rolling up my sleeves and getting involved. Over the next few days I’ll be posting diary entries of my experience so far, I have no idea what I’m getting myself into and I am not taking it too seriously but hopefully I’ll be able to provide you with a little entertainment and some insight into 21st century dating.

S x

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