Jacob had been single for a few months when he decided to join Tinder, like most guys in their early 20’s he had a busy work and social life, so his methods for meeting girls was pretty limited. Having been on a few dates already when he came across Gemma he had no qualms about speaking to her or meeting her a few days after they matched.
A sales assistant in the local shopping center, she seemed like a quiet, down to earth, slightly shy girl, in spite of the “slightly provocative photos” used on her Tinder profile. The first few weeks flew by in a honeymoon tinted blur as they drifted into what seemed like a fairly happy relationship.
On a night out her phone was stolen and naturally she was very distressed as there was a lot of personal information on it so Jacob offered her an old phone to use temporarily. Now, there are some guys out there who often go one step further when trying to help a damsel in distress and Jacob is no exception. A week later he offered to help her pay for half of a new phone, under the stipulation that she would pay him back later or over time.
Ladies, imagine this, you’ve gone on an app with a slightly seedy reputation yet you’ve met a guy who barely knows you but is willing to pay £500 towards a new phone for you, surely you would appreciate his kindness and want to express your gratitude in any way possible. So if I told you that Gemma was posting half naked pictures of herself on Facebook and Instagram which Jacob was uncomfortable with you would assume that she heard him out right? Instead of trying to understand why the guy she was seeing didn’t like her pictures she got agitated with him and refused to change for anyone. Guys, how would you feel if every time you were on Facebook you saw one of the locals asking your girlfriend to sleep with him and send personal pictures? Or what if she was really cagey about her phone when you were with her and she was incredibly close to a guy who would often visit her in the evening, you’d get suspicious wouldn’t you?
One night she told Jacob that her friend wanted her to help out with the promo for a club in London, he didn’t think anything of it, especially as she was continuing to message him hourly. At around four a.m. she called him to say that her drink had been spiked and she was coming home, he told her that he would meet her at her house so he could look after her. When Jacob arrived “it was clear that something was up, she was acting very weirdly and was clearly intoxicated” at one point, whilst looking for a hairclip, she emptied the contents of her bag and out fell lingerie and condoms. Obviously shocked, Jacob asked what happened, she fobbed him off with a lame story about how some guys followed her and her friend back to a hotel room and they must have spiked her drink before falling asleep. At this point Jacob had had enough of the half truths so he did what anyone would do in this situation, he went through her phone. I could go off on a tangent about the ethics of going through someone’s phone but that is a whole different blog topic, however, I will say this, if your partner feels the need to check on who you are talking to you need to ask yourself why. As expected, Jacob found that she had actually been messaging a guy about coming to his hotel room and partying with him and his friends in exchange for money. There were also numerous videos and pictures of her having sex with other men and messages exchanging these videos, all of which took place whilst Jacob was seeing her. When he tried to confront her she became incredibly aggressive so he left, since then he has received threatening text messages from her and her male friends, accusing him of stealing her wedding ring, which is probably a ploy to avoid paying him the £500 she owes him for her phone.
Jacob didn’t share his story to prove that Tinder is a bad dating choice, this situation could have happened if they met in a club or on the street, rather, the moral to this story is listen to your gut and pay attention to the warning signs. A girl can be hot without using racy pictures to get your attention, when you are uncomfortable about the kind of attention she is attracting she will do something about it if she is a genuine person and anyone who lets you give them £500 after a few weeks of knowing them is shady in my eyes.
You live and you learn, at least I’m still trying to…