Blogging, Dating, Relationships, Tinder

Tinder Diary – Day 2

I’m finally allowed to swipe unsupervised as long as I promise to wait a second before saying no, but somehow my Tinder antics have caught the attention of my 16 year old sister…

This genuinely feels like a game… Left, left,left left… Wait! tap… Hmm… Left. Left… Tap… Aww his bio made me chuckle, and he’s tall, and he has good hair, nice eyes, good fashion sense. Right! Left, left and so on. The whole time I’m playing my sister is either berating me for going too fast or yelling “wait! what about him??”, after a while I take a break and watch this weeks Made In Chelsea.

Its pretty late and it seems like Shamica is asleep, she hasn’t said anything for about an hour and she didn’t watch MIC with me so I start swiping again. The first few are straight no’s, but then… Oh. My. Gosh! Just as I am about to take a screen shot of the absolute hottie on my screen Shamica shouts “YES!! say yes!!”, she nearly gives me a heart attack, which could easily have resulted in an accidental no! I get over the shock, send the screen shot to my group chat and swipe right. Instantly my first match message pops up!! I am stunned, mouth agape I show the screen to Shamica who begins to squeal like a micro pig, tiny, sharp, high pitched squeaks. Once I have accepted that Marc was interested I do what any dignified 27 year old would do, I jump up and down on the bed, stop to send a screen shot of the match message and go right back to jumping.

Now what?? Shamica’s telling me to ask him if I can have his beautiful babies, Zakia is saying don’t say anything, let him open the convo and Kimberly is saying talk to him, now! Who do I listen to?? What do I do?? I’m definitely striking Shamica’s one liner out, I did not realise that is how 16 year olds flirt these days…

Another eventful day on Tinder, no closer to Prince Charming but it doesn’t hurt to have a bit of eye candy.

Keep an eye out to find out what happened with my first match…

S x

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Blogging, Dating, Relationships, Tinder

Tinder Diary- Day 1

After we had established that it would be highly inappropriate for my married best friend to download the app we snuggled up together and created my profile, which wasn’t that successful as we were swiping for about half an hour with no pictures and no bio. As neither of us really knew what we were doing we agreed to the following:

  • No swiping by my myself – It was OUR game and I could not be trusted as I swipe too fast and miss really hot people that will never come up again.
  • I am not allowed to meet anyone UNLESS we have been talking for a “good amount of time” – and the banter was on point 95% of the time – AND I am 100% sure he is who he says he is.
  • NO SWIPING ALONE – she was so adamant about it she felt the need to tell me twice.

So there we were, swiping and laughing, when suddenly my phone flashes, I had 5% battery and no one in the house had a Samsung charger. We devised an action plan, I would go home, get my charger, chuck on my PJ’s and get straight back into her bed. It sounded great in theory but in reality, the excitement of our Tinder antics had wiped me out and my phone was refusing to charge so I promised not to touch the app without her supervision and I turned my phone off.

Et voila! 10:30 a.m. approximately 12 hours after I downloaded the app, I wake up to a message from my ex, a screenshot, to be precise, of my Tinder profile. Shit! Shit! Shit! Caught in the act.

Maybe “caught” is the wrong word, I am, after all, single and free to do whatever I please. Regardless, I had fully intended to contact my ex to let him know that I was on Tinder because I didn’t want him to find out from someone else. Clearly I wasn’t quick enough!

How does it work?

  1. Much like any social media you need a profile: Name, Date of Birth and a Bio, then you add a bunch of pictures, you can also link your Instagram account.
  2. Make sure your location services are on.
  3. Set your age preference and distance.
  4. Tap on a picture to see his bio and other photos, tap again to come out of his profile.
  5. Swipe left if you’re not interested OR swipe right if you like what you see. If you want to go back and see someone you said no to YOU CAN’T, if you try do that you will end up swiping right to the next person. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.
  6. If someone you liked swipes right for you too you will automatically get a notification that you have a match and then you can message one another.

I’d like to point out I had to learn all of the above the hard way… You’re welcome.

Day 2 is all about my first match!

S x

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Dating, Relationships, Tinder

A Tinderella Story

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Sat in my best friends bed, rehashing the last conversation I had with my ex I look into the bottom of my cup and sigh 

“Something has to change” she looks at me cautiously with a hint of surprise in her eyes.

“Chick… What do you mean?”.

I go on to explain that having seen my ex for the first time in a while I am wary of our pattern, we break up, take some time and inevitably end up back together. We agreed to breaking up because we both needed to be single and selfish, sometimes its hard to do that when you’re in a long term relationship, especially when you need to step back.

Now, when I said “something needed to change” I was referring to our on again/off again pattern, her response?

“Let’s download tinder!!”

I love this girl like a sister but she is bat s#!t crazy sometimes, the last time we were bored and sat in her house alone together we watched Kim Karadashian’s infamous porn video, just your standard Friday night.

I have heard many stories about Tinder, some good, some bad and some pretty ugly so I won’t lie, I have my preconceived notions but the only way I am going to get over them is by rolling up my sleeves and getting involved. Over the next few days I’ll be posting diary entries of my experience so far, I have no idea what I’m getting myself into and I am not taking it too seriously but hopefully I’ll be able to provide you with a little entertainment and some insight into 21st century dating.

S x

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Advice, Dating, Real Talk

IMG_20150406_180005 Sometimes its easy to overlook the priceless and hilarious  advice in our daily conversations. This is REAL TALK

We’re so complicated, even when we aren’t really into someone we waste our time trying to change them for the greater good of womankind…

Don’t ever allow yourself to invest in someone who won’t invest in you.

I promise, the second you go bad ass bitch they’ll up their game or they’ll leave you alone. At least if they leave you alone you know they’re not worth it.” – S x

Real Talk

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